Day 3 - After Loss Self-Portrait

Day 3 of Capture Your Grief and it's After Loss Self-Portrait today. It's hard to choose to be honest, so again I've chosen a main one - the most treasured and personal photo ever taken of me -  and then added some extras that show different aspects of the last almost-3 months of my life.

My beautiful baby girl and I, the night she was born sleeping

Even though it was the saddest moment of my life, I couldn't help but smile when I looked at her. She was so beautiful - just what I'd always wanted! A little bundle of perfection and she was all mine (and Dan's!). She didn't need to see me crying, I wanted her to feel happiness around her not feel tears. Yes, I know she was already gone, but she still needed hugs and joy. How could I not look at her wonderful face and smile through the pain?

I wish I had more photos of me holding her, but the ones I have are perfect nonetheless. Some other self-portraits since this moment are:

Family portrait

In France, after getting out of hospital but before Isla's funeral - smiling through the pain but usually breaking down shortly after

 Bought a new car on a whim - this colour/make but a brand new one! How tiny and impractical could I go?!

Me and my daughter in her beautiful resting place

With my Aching Arms bear at the Angel of the North

At a friend's wedding just this weekend